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Hello, my name is Mizuho and I am an 18 year old English student at KGU. I live in Nagasu which is north of Kumamoto. My town is famous for goldfish so there is a goldfish at Nagasu station. I took care of five goldfish when I was a junior high school student. My sister got goldfish in the summer festival. The most difficult thing is to wash the goldfish’s water tank. After the goldfish died, I have not kept any other goldfish.
My hobby is shopping so I go shopping once a week. Recently I went shopping and I bought a cloth. It was cheap and nice so I like it.
I go to school by train every day. It takes an hour, so I get up at 6:00. It is hard for me to get up at 6:00. I have studied English since I was a junior high school student. It is difficult for me to speak English. I want to avail myself of every opportunity to improve my English because I want to be an English teacher.
I will stay with you for 6 weeks this summer, so I want to make friends with you. I don’t have any confidence in my English. Please teach me English.
I am good at cooking. I make dinner every day. If you teach me English, then I’ll make Japanese food such as tempura, miso soup and oden. To go abroad is my long cherished dream. I am happy that I will stay with you. I have never been to America so I want to go everywhere. I am looking forward to meeting you.
revisions
The goldfish's name is pop eyed goldfish. The famous place is kingyotokoinosato. I would often go picnic there when I was a elementary school student.
I often go shopping in youme town because youme town is near my house.
I make dinner sometimes. For example curry. Let's cooking with me.
(320 words)
My hobby is shopping so I go shopping once a week. Recently I went shopping and I bought a cloth. It was cheap and nice so I like it.
I go to school by train every day. It takes an hour, so I get up at 6:00. It is hard for me to get up at 6:00. I have studied English since I was a junior high school student. It is difficult for me to speak English. I want to avail myself of every opportunity to improve my English because I want to be an English teacher.
I will stay with you for 6 weeks this summer, so I want to make friends with you. I don’t have any confidence in my English. Please teach me English.
I am good at cooking. I make dinner every day. If you teach me English, then I’ll make Japanese food such as tempura, miso soup and oden. To go abroad is my long cherished dream. I am happy that I will stay with you. I have never been to America so I want to go everywhere. I am looking forward to meeting you.
revisions
The goldfish's name is pop eyed goldfish. The famous place is kingyotokoinosato. I would often go picnic there when I was a elementary school student.
I often go shopping in youme town because youme town is near my house.
I make dinner sometimes. For example curry. Let's cooking with me.
(320 words)
Hi Mizuho,
返信削除You should work the bits of writing that you've listed at the end of this post ("revisions") into the appropriate paragraphs in the essay above. Then would you please relabel this essay with commas between the labels (essays, graphics, revisions).
Cheers, PB